Guilt vs. a healthy level of responsibility

The recent guest blog, regarding Mother's Guilt was pretty timely. I'm soon to have our second child (37 1/2 weeks!), and thinking alot about wanting to protect Abbie's feelings where possible (i.e., don't make her feel pushed out/ ignored).  I've recently read another chapter of the Free Range Kids book, and have only a tepid response towards it. It is titled "Relax: Not every little thing you do has that much impact on your child's development", so I thought that it'd be good medicine for me. Instead, it was quite a hurried chapter, skimping on aspects that could be covered better. For instance, it describes worry as a fashion, that it is an element of 'helicopter parenting': by worrying, you are doing it in order to prove yourself to be worthy as a Mother. I disagree. Concern about how you and your partner bring up your children is healthy, it shows that you are taking responsibility, that you care. Yes we carry Mother's guilt, and as long as we open up and share our insecurities with our friends and family, we can cancel out the ones that we needn't have worried about and make decisions or acceptances about the others, safe in the knowledge that we are not alone. To quote KT, "let’s remember that in this game of parenthood there is no right or wrong, so let’s all learn from one another, support one another and celebrate they joy of parenthood with each other."

I'm a Mother. Guilty as charged.

Our first fantastic guest blog from KT.

When you tell people you’re expecting a baby they will reply with all sorts of things.  Usually how you’ll never have a morning lie-in again, how you’ll never sleep at night, how excruciatingly painful childbirth is, and some of your more optimistic friends may even regale you with tales of the joy and happiness children bring.  What no-one, and I mean NO-ONE told me about was the guilt.  The terrible all-consuming guilt that seems to be part and parcel of being a mum.