New labour

In my most recent blog, I unravelled over my expectation that I would be induced again, as I was with Abigail. I'd had an awful day (though I'd bet that my husband got it worse than me): I was crying one minute (blaming myself for labour not starting because I was getting too stressed), argumentative and touchy over little things the next (messy kitchen that wouldn't be fit if I did go into labour anyway etc.,). Abbie was all over the place too - crying and stubbornness from her as well. I'd call it the storm before the storm - just like pets seem to know when the weather is changing, we were both affected and B was firefighting the best he could. After a day like that I wanted to write it all down for catharsis. It helped too, and I also managed to consume a huge bag of doritos at the same time! About half an hour after publishing the induction prediction blog, my contractions started all by themselves. It goes without saying how much this meant and how lucky I felt. Here's what happened.

Spontaneous onset of labour.

I originally thought that my stomach pains were because my pyjama trousers were too tight, so held the waistband out a little to see if any different (imagining I was squashing the baby), but soon realised that the pains were coming from the inside not from outside pressure inwards. They began whilst I was sat at the table, re-reading my blog to check that it didn't sound too crazy after I'd published (something I do quite a lot if it is a particularly personal subject). I then went and joined B watching the Wolves programme on BBC One, but didn't say anything, just that my tummy was a bit uncomfortable but probably nothing. The pains seemed to be periodic though, so by about 9.45pm, I did tell B that it may be contractions and could he write them down so that we could see whether they were regular? A big smile came over B's face as he got the refill pad and pen together, it got even bigger as after only a few contractions he was able to say "I thought so" after I told him that another one was starting. They were lasting about a minute, every five minutes - regular and painful - hooray! We agreed to time them for half an hour or so to check they stayed that way, in case they stopped or slowed down, before calling the hospital.

I lit some incense and burnt the aromatherapy oil combination that my yoga teacher used in prenatal yoga (lavender, 10 drops, bergamot, 6 drops and patchouli, 4 drops). B did the washing up, hoovering and got towels and bits and pieces together that we'd prepared for the birth. We shut the cats out of the house. I also took 2 arnica tablets and had a mug of raspberry leaf tea.

After sitting down for the first few contractions I couldn't, and so didn't want to sit through them anymore and spent the rest of the evening standing up, walking the three metres or so between the dining room and the lounge, and breathing through the contractions using the full yogic breath, (although see Mother's Breath book for more fuller description). B noticed that if I did sit down, the contractions slowed down too, so it showed that being upright/walking was best to speed up contractions, hence get through the pain faster. Most of all, I was following my instincts, which seemed to be right for the situation- I hadn't planned anything other than to stay off my back and go with the flow. In between contractions I usually stayed upright, walking about or was on the birthing ball, watching TV (we had BBC Four on: Queen Live, followed by The Old Grey Whistle Test: David Bowie, Cher and Greg Allman were a good background distraction!).

It was so new and different to have such freedom in labour after last time: I could get up and move around, do what I felt like. I was in control. Had to pinch myself that I actually had this choice. Last time I was lying on a hospital bed, propped up by cushions and attached by the tummy to a monitor, to my arm a drip... but enough of that.

B phoned the hospital about 10.30pm, and was put onto Lyn, the on duty midwife who would be coming to the house. She asked B if I was in first or second stage, how I was doing, expecting us to be experienced as it was our second baby. However, we had to explain that as I was induced first time, we didn't really know what labour felt like or what signalled which stage. We realised then that although my second labour, it was also a bit like the first, seeing how removed we were from it the first time. She spoke to me, talking through a contraction, saying I was doing really well. She suggested I have a bath, and put on my TENS machine (not together!) and to ring back when I was feeling anxious about the next contraction, and/or that they were shorter and more painful. They were on the night shift at the hospital and would be with us in 15 minutes when we needed them.

After that, we called our friend who came to pick Abbie up around 11pm, B brought her downstairs, wrapped in her duvet and she sleepily said goodbye, taking her overnight bag with her. She stayed at her toddler friends' house. It was weird her not being in the house anymore.

Between then and 1am, contractions just steadily built. I didn't have a bath (even though I am a bath person), as I preferred staying active. We did put my TENS machine on, set to the lowest setting and I switched between BURST and BOOST settings. I continued alongside this much the same: pacing and breathing as fully as I could, through the abdomen, chest and up to the collar bones to fully breathe through each contraction. I used this breath as it was the simplest for me to remember - I had learnt others from yoga, but they'd gone out of my head and in no state to read factsheets by this point. The activities to control labour pains were therefore simpler than I imagined, as I did what made me most comfortable (walking) and what I was able to remember (FY Breath). I don't think I had any spare cognitive capacity at that point, it was all somatic!

By 1am the contractions were every few minutes and more painful (we'd turned the TENS up) and I was getting a bit more anxious about contractions. I wasn't sure how fast the midwives would be, whether they'd ask to speak to me so wanted to get things started with them helping. B called and they agreed straightaway, no faffing.

Although this was my labour, it also was clear to me that this was my responsibility. If I wanted this to work I had to work myself, I couldn't fall back on pain relief beyond entonox and what I was using already. The home birth made me more proactive than perhaps I'd have been in hospital. Whatever was coming - long labour, painful labour, I had to do this. It was a bit daunting, as I had chosen this ("What if it's too much? I could have stayed in hospital so I could have an epidural? Can I really do this?"), but I also felt more relaxed, positive and in control than I'd ever been because of being at home, on my own terms in familiar surroundings, after a lot of preparation and understanding of what home births involved. Having the choice, whether it was burning the oils, B being there free to go and get me whatever we needed - practical or whimsical, or what room / position I wanted to labour in, was very empowering. We both felt more in control at home.

Spontaneous breaking of waters.

Just before the midwives arrived, there was a contraction, and during it a pop and my waters broke. I screamed "Aaah" in surprise, which was a surprise too! My pyjama bottoms and slippers were soaked. B dived between my legs with a shower curtain, but it was a bit late by then! We sorted ourselves out, clearing up the clothes and slippers in time for the midwives to arrive. So that's what waters breaking is like! The consultant broke my waters whilst I lay in bed last time, although I seem to remember it was also about 1am on a Friday night/Saturday morning too.

Lovely Lyn and Calm Carol.

Next, the cavalry arrived. They brought with them what looked like a ski bag full of kit. As they walked into the lounge with me between contractions, one said to the other, "I think we'll have a baby soon". Knowing their experience, and that they could tell from the atmosphere what was happening was great. They sorted their kit out, checked my blood pressure and pulse between contractions and by about the fourth attempt to examine me on the settee (I could not lie down for a contraction so they had to keep pulling me back off the settee - I was a big heavy lump sinking into it!), I was 9cm dilated (1cm from fully dilated, see stages of labour at NCT website).

Labour then progressed, I asked for Entonox - I remember pointing out that I wasn't planning on being a martyr and they said they didn't want me to be! Then at some point I couldn't get comfy standing up anymore, and asked for a chair to lean on. B got our dining room chair and put a few pillows on it for me to kneel against. From there I took the gas and air, still had the TENS going, B was turning it to boost for me but eventually just left it running and I tried to breathe deeply, exhaling slowly. I did surprise myself as despite knowing it didn't help, I did let out a few moany screams in the transition/second stage - it's difficult to be a textbook labouring woman, doing all the right things when the pain is at its peak! The midwives were fine though, although did try to encourage me towards breathing, and when required, pushing instead, they weren't critical. During the contractions B would remind me of two things, which made a big difference - to breathe slowly and relax my jaw, I also squeezed his hand quite tightly! He soon handed over to the midwives though who were telling me what to do - mostly the same until it came to pushing. This was a quick stage, lasting around 5 minutes and then he was born!

He was born at 2.10am, weighing 9lb 3oz, much to our surprise. 2 1/2 lbs more than Abbie, despite almost exactly the same gestation. I didn't know I was expecting a big baby and it was probably a good thing as may have made me more apprehensive.

I held Thomas wrapped in a receiving blanket during the third stage (active delivery), and cord cutting and all fine. Soon I was lying on the settee, covered in blankets holding Thomas for skin-to-skin cuddles and his first feed. B made everyone a cup of tea. The midwives tidied up their bits and pieces, towels and sheets were cleared away, notes filled. I shook with an adrenaline rush for quite a while, perhaps an hour even, moments of crying out of happiness and feeling so comfortable and relaxed at home, looking around the room amazed that we were here and weren't going anywhere and that everything had worked out. After some more checks Lyn helped me upstairs to collect some new pyjamas and I had a shower whilst she waited outside the room if I needed any help. She helped a wobbly me get dressed and all sorted for bed. Thomas was in the moses basket by our bed and we said goodbye to the midwives around 4am, hugs and thank yous. We got into bed and after a few text messages to the grandparents and aunties, and quick "isn't this amazing?" sort of conversation, we went to sleep.

Thomas woke up for a feed and nappy change at around 6am and we all went back to sleep until around midday Saturday. The rest of the day was fairly dozy. B described it as a holiday. Abbie came home that evening and the family was complete and very, very happy.

 

The peaceful atmosphere behind Thomas' arrival has stayed, he's 11 days old today and things at home are great. He's a contented baby indeed. Abbie's doing really well too, as we are.