My take on AP

I was recently made aware of a letter in the Huffington Post slating attachment parenting, dubbed 'detachment parenting' (well, LOL). While it frustrated me that such an article had been written, it also worried me too, that it had been presented all the wrong way and the damage that could be done by it. Luckily, the author of the Nurshable blog had written a reply that clarified things and straightened out the wackiness portrayed. It inspired me to write out my understanding of what it is that I'm doing and what it is that I see Attachment Parenting to be. See what you think. It's nothing to do with superglueing yourself, or your partner, to your child either - it is about being there for them, in mind and in body.

Read these blogs first perhaps:

Nicola Kraus - My Message to Dr Sears
Nurshable - My Message to Nicola Kraus

"Don't worry Mummy"

For the last few weeks I've had a few ups and downs, mostly revolving around behaviour: mine, my daughter's, other people. Reflecting back over now, the comment my daughter made to me today says it all (see title). It happened after I was trying to explain (yes, to an almost 3 year old - what was I thinking?), that I was upset that we couldn't get her haircut because she didn't want to when we got there (after a struggle to get there in the first place). From now on, I'm going to try and not worry as much. I said try.

Chances to bond

When you have a baby, having them close, being there as soon as they need you is something you want to do automatically. So how does this work when you are responsible for two children (a lively toddler and a little baby)? I've been figuring this out over the past ten weeks. 

7 weeks living as a family of four

I'm finally writing down my experiences in this happy time enjoying the early days of my blooming family. It's taken me a few weeks to sit down and write (I'm writing as Thomas sleeps on me in his sling - this hot weather has been a little unsettling for him, my daughter is at nursery today after a bout of chicken pox and potty training in sequence - we've been busy!). The washing machine's on, washing up is piling but not critical, I'm listening to some relaxing music and spilling out onto the keyboard at last.

New labour

In my most recent blog, I unravelled over my expectation that I would be induced again, as I was with Abigail. I'd had an awful day (though I'd bet that my husband got it worse than me): I was crying one minute (blaming myself for labour not starting because I was getting too stressed), argumentative and touchy over little things the next (messy kitchen that wouldn't be fit if I did go into labour anyway etc.,). Abbie was all over the place too - crying and stubbornness from her as well. I'd call it the storm before the storm - just like pets seem to know when the weather is changing, we were both affected and B was firefighting the best he could. After a day like that I wanted to write it all down for catharsis. It helped too, and I also managed to consume a huge bag of doritos at the same time! About half an hour after publishing the induction prediction blog, my contractions started all by themselves. It goes without saying how much this meant and how lucky I felt. Here's what happened.

40 weeks + 6 days, and a few million thoughts

This blog is an opportunity to round up the many, and I imagine typical, thoughts going around about my imminent birth. Including birth plans, particularly my intentions to have my little girl stay at home  (see Being Around), and the valued reading I've been doing, namely, of pregnancy and birth affirmations that have helped me clear up my plans for these post due date weeks, and of yoga breathing techniques for use in labour. Altogether, these thoughts all point to how it all comes back to instincts (again). I am incapable of succinct blogs, unlike my superb guest bloggers, so please bear with me!

Keep Calm and Carry On - Parenting Twins

Second terrific guest blog from Mother of two very lovely girls indeed, FB.

I had always wanted twins, I can even remember discussing it with my mum as a teenager. Her view was that one would help push the other out at birth - she was so wrong on that point!

Navel gazing? Well, its hard not to

na·vel-gaz·ing  /ˈneɪvəlˌgeɪzɪŋ/

n. Slang
Excessive introspection, self-absorption, or concentration on a single issue

I am a day away from 35 weeks pregnant, and my tummy size reflects it. So yes, thinking about being pregnant and the baby due to make an appearance next month is never far from my mind! Keeping myself balanced, centred, is a continued struggle however, with my overthinking habit: it is enjoyable but needs reining in too. I think I'm getting there though (and just in time!).

Quick update on old blogs: Where we are now

I'm aware that I haven't followed up on some of the old blogs to say how things have progressed since, so am going to use this post as a quick review of the last year, feeding back on any points I previously left open. [There aren't actually very many].

Science and Myths: How hard it is to stay informed, stay balanced

Various things have delayed my blogging lately, even though I've had lots to think about and want to write down so I'm having a catch up at last. First thing to mention is the ever noticeable puzzling presentation of science in the media and how vulnerable we are to misinterpretation, thanks to the previous misinterpretation of those who present news summaries (which may have been previously misinterpreted by someone before them). Confused? well... no surprise. Keywords I've scribbled to put this blog together include "homebirth study, creationism, engineering C4 and daytime TV" These all tell a similar tale.

Working out boundaries is hard work

For my own reasons, I've wanted to avoid introducing any discipline to Abigail as she progresses through her baby and toddler years, while she's beginning to figure out her place in the world and how she fits in amongst those around her. I expect her to be focussed on her own needs above anybody else's, so understand that she doesn't understand concepts of sharing, for example. This is mostly because of the introduction to child development during my first degree, e.g., the developmental stages from Freud's Id to Ego then Super-Ego (see also). I don't want to set adult expectations on a small child - although I recognise the need for boundaries, I want to do it in a sensitive manner. My focus (in case you hadn't guessed already) is on wanting her to feel secure and loved, but am now unsure about how to keep that up alongside managing her ever more noticeable (and normal) unruly toddler behaviour, as my techniques so far are not always sufficient.