I am one of three sisters
This is a photo of me and Abigail, moments after birth and she was placed on my tummy. In antenatal classes, I learnt about the instinct for newborn babies to move up your tummy, heads bobbing, moving in the direction of one or the other boob to feed (I now think that the change in areola size in pregnancy helps provide a visual target for their limited vision, that only can recognise high contrast images). Soon after being born, Abigail quickly fed (I didn't know what I was doing but she instinctively did, I just let her move and feed). This was extremely reassurring - I should just trust in the reflexes of the newborn, developed through years of evolution, and she'll know how to feed and get what she needs from me.
I have avoided talking about my opinions about breastfeeding this far, firstly, because of not wanting to offend or upset anybody who hasn't breastfed, particularly friends and members of my family, who I know think and feel very deeply about their choices and their children. The other is a cowardly reason: because I don't want to receive the backlash I've seen elsewhere towards those who support breastfeeding, being described as "middle class do-gooders" and the like.
Well, I suppose I've opened the floodgates now because I am going to talk.
In a series of blogs, I'm going to try to talk about my experiences and views on breastfeeding. Firstly, I'm going to describe how I got to this blog subject, and later my ideas for why breastfeeding is not the norm for every mother and baby.
Two recent articles that have prompted my decision to write about this are:
- Daily Mail: Breastfeeding boom: Middle-class mothers lead the charge with 90% rejecting formula milk, by Sophie Borland.
- New York Times: The Breast Milk Cure, by Nicholas D Kristof.
I totally love reusable nappies.
Unfortunately, our bumgenius 3.0 ones (the most recent design when we bought them in 2009) didn't fit around my daughter's dimensions so well by about 18 months (think it was the thighs and tummy that did it). She was getting rubbed on her legs because they were too tight, and would leak out of the top when she laid down to sleep, as doing them around the sticky-out tummy would leave a chance for them to slip down, under her tum, and be too loose to hold the wet stuff in. It meant that by about 3am, we'd be woken up by Abigail crying and soaked in wee. We'd have to do a full change and she'd wake up wet again too.
Today has been a pretty hectic day, as ever it is when we visit friends or they visit us. I spent alot of the day trying to watch over Abbie, who didn't want to share her toys with anyone, and was vigilantly retrieving any toys back off those who were in possession of any! She also had lot of fun, running around in the garden and then in the house with her playmates. As the day progressed, Abbie got more tired she lashed out more and lost the plot really, not knowing what she wanted. She normally naps for at least an hour after lunch but definitely didn't want to when she knew there were three little girls playing downstairs.
Everybody left around 3pm, when all of the toddlers were played out. Abbie could barely focus. Luckily, after some cuddles in front of a little quiet children's TV, she fell asleep and stayed that way for an hour. She woke up a bit confused and teary, managed to eat her dinner but was still a bit 'wappy'. Bath time lasted all of 1 minute, where she was upset and wobbly again. I managed to calm her down with more cuddles and quiet songs (trying to remember songs like Eidelweiss, Daisy, Ride-a-cock-horse etc). Unfortunately, neither choice of getting nappy and pyjamas on or her hair dried was answered with a positive yes (more like a protesting no). I ended up sitting on the bed with her and she laid there quite quietly after I put her down. She was so relaxed that I thought I'd try to remember some of the baby massage classes that I had taken ages ago, when she was about 6 months old.
I had an interesting experience yesterday. I took part in the second session of VIG (Video Interaction Guidance) so that my friend and old colleague to train as a practitioner in the intervention. My goal was to improve on saying "No" to Abbie in a consistent manner, to keep her boundaries where they need maintaining.
Since my friend bought me the Sears' Baby Book on Attachment Parenting, this style has resonated with me, but one thing I still find difficult is how to control and say No without damaging the secure base I'm trying to establish and grow between us. Being somebody who sets limits has made me feel uncomfortable as I didn't/don't want to cause distress, but more than this, I didn't want to be inconsistent in my boundary-setting, sometimes being strong about saying No about something, another time letting it go.
So this was my goal for the VIG therapy session.
"I want to hear your experiences of how the cuts are affecting you and your family and discuss how we could do things differently"
I got a letter from Ed Miliband last week and keep meaning to follow it up. It asked me to contact him on his website.
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| polyp.org.uk |
Although I can understand his approach, asking for feedback from the public, I think it is also approaching everything as if it is money, the economy, that is the centre of our lives. I don't think it should be, even if it has become that way.
When I think about my family, I don't see money as making us the happiest we could be. Yes, we need it to pay for a home to live in, for food, utilities etc. But we can confuse need with want, I know I do (oooh holidays, a different car, new clothes, tv etc.). That doesn't mean that we should live in caves and not treat ourselves to these things, I just think that money and spending it should not be the centre focus.
I've never bought 'children's' yoghurts, but find large pots of full-fat whole yoghurt, .e.g, Yeo Valley or Rachel's- either plain, with some honey (1 yr+) or lemon curd, raisins etc. stirred in, or fruit flavours fine, if not better than the bland varieties offered. I tried Munch Bunch last month and the texture is smoother than a baby's bottom, blander than wallpaper paste - no wonder some children are fussy eaters if they're not given the opportunity to experience textures and flavours in their food...[but that's just my opinion]. An additional note on buying larger pots means that you're not racking up the plastic packaging, so some plus points regarding your environmental conscience.
I've actually (if you can believe it) compared the nutritional content of Munch Bunch to Yeo Valley Strawberry Yoghurt, just to see whether my instincts to go for the big pots was right:
I am one of three sisters 
