I had always wanted twins, I can even remember discussing it with my mum as a teenager. Her view was that one would help push the other out at birth - she was so wrong on that point!
We had endured a long journey through fertility treatments and miscarriages before we found ourselves prospective parents of twins and that, undoubtably, had a considerable impact on how we tackled my pregnancy. I was a nervous, neurotic mess and my poor husband worried constantly about me as I veered from overjoyed to panicked on a daily basis.
When our beautiful girls finally made their appearance in June 2009, at nearly 38 weeks, I felt like I could finally exhale after months of not even realising that I was holding my breath.
My daughters were an absolute revelation to me, all the worry that had consumed me in pregnancy abated and I could finally concentrate on getting to know my children. Many people close to me commented on how relaxed I was, considering I had two small babies to care for, but it really was very easy compared to the out of control nightmare that was my pregnancy!
Being a parent of twins is like a supercharged version of single baby parenthood: Everywhere you go lots of people, and I mean lots, talk to you and gaze in wonderment at your children. It's like being part of a travelling circus act or should that be freak show? I began to worry that the girls would think that much attention was normal or become really big headed! No one prepares you for the personal questions that complete strangers will ask you either. I'm not in the slightest bit ashamed of the IVF that has given me my family, but I don't really want to discuss it in the dairy aisle at Tesco!
The reality of multiples includes less than perfect pram solutions; extra expense across the board; the requirement for elusive double trolleys and even more elusive empty parent and child spaces at supermarkets (unless you want to leave one child in the road amongst the traffic); then there's the chaos at dentists/doctors/hairdressers etc and don't get me started on the bed time lunacy - picture a nightly toddler pyjama party with added giggling/biting/scratching/hair pulling. The other far more positive, and thankfully more prevalent, side is that the babies get used to waiting for attention and food; they automatically learn to share with each other very quickly (well, most of the time) and you get to watch your children interact in a way that only siblings that are exactly the same age can and the hilarity that invariably ensues. Then there's the camaraderie that is automatic with other mums of twins, mums of singletons just don't get the craziness of more than one baby at once. It's not that twins are more special, just double the blessing all at once.
I try not to worry about all the guidelines parents seem to be bombarded with these days (when to wean, what to feed them, what milestones they've reached by which month etc.), perhaps because I've had to fly by the seat of my pants from the very start, baptism of fire my husband calls it! If this journey has taught me anything it's that instinct is the most important thing in motherhood, it is very rarely wrong, and to remind myself daily how very lucky we are (even in the middle of the night when both are screaming - honest!).
No comments:
Post a Comment