Still on my feet: Why I am so glad we baby-led

My daughter is 19 months old. She eats at the table using a spoon and fork off a plate or bowl, drinks out of an open cup and is generally brilliant at the whole eating/drinking/sitting around a table process.

Feb 2010, when Abigail was 7 months old, no teeth/hair!

We started weaning at 6 months old, in line with the recommended guidelines. I started by offering her a banana: I ate one in front of her and waited to see if she initiated interest in tasting it herself: a sign that she was ready to start eating solids (along with the disappearance of the tongue thrust reflex). I almost talked her through it really, "do you want some banana?", "yes?" (broke some off and mush it in between fingers and held to her lips). She had some banana and we took it from there. I can't describe how exciting it was - never thought it would be such a milestone! If you're interested in a time line, her first eat was 06/01/2010.

I actually started with pureed food, thinking I should start the traditional route, bring in more variety as we go (a bit like starting with disposable nappies as a newborn, moving onto reusables later). Firstly, the purees tasted gross - mmmm, blended carrot (pear and apple weren't bad). Secondly, Abigail agreed. She pursed her lips and pushed the spoon away. This meant that by 04/02/2010, puree and mush was over, we went on to finger foods and general baby led fare.

These are a great example of sippy cups

I was a bit uncertain that I was doing it right, so the timely 6 month check from the health visitor worked well. She was completely supportive of our choices of how to wean, (i.e., you don't have to puree everything up, she will be able to eat whatever you eat - basically, that it is pretty straightforward really) and very relaxed about it when I talked about it (like it was the normal way to do things, which was refreshing). She also encouraged us to get started on drinking water from the feeder cup (i.e., sippy cup without the non drip valve, which isn't such a good idea) from then too.

From there, I tentatively offered Abigail banana and other squidgy foods for one meal a day and gradually increased to two, then three meals a day, continuing to breastfeed as normal (i.e., on demand, which was about 4 times a day by then). Unfortunately, I don't exactly know when she moved up to three meals a day, but it was a gradual process - the focus on the benefits gained from learning how to eat, experiencing new textures and flavours - there was not real rush as breastmilk was there for the nutritional backbone of her diet until solid intake picked up.

Abigail, August 2010

With some help from a few websites and callouts to friends (see below), I had a broad range of finger foods and spoon-feedable foods to offer her. Usually porridge or weetabix for breakfast (no sugar/sweetening, just whole milk), pitta bread with houmous, grated cheese and carrot stirred into plain yoghurt, bread or toast with peanut butter, scrambled eggs, baked beans, omelette slices - meals that can be picked up by hand (chopped into fist-sized foods (not mine, her fists!) - big enough for her to hold onto and chew on, and not too small so could go down the wrong way) for lunch and dinner. Yoghurts (I've never bought children's yoghurts, but find large pots of full-fat whole yoghurt- either plain, or fruit puree (great for the reject stuff left over!) stirred in, or fruit flavours fine) and fruit, e.g., whole ripe plums and apricots (just jump in to get the stone or split it in half and remove first), pears etc. for afters, things like dried apricots, prunes and Organix baby biscuits as snacks (I didn't move on to raisins until later, when her pincer grasp was fully developed).

She didn't get her first tooth until she was 11 months old, the rest sprouted over the next 3 months or so, so this changed the eating habits further, making foods, particularly meat, easier to eat and chew. She still ate foods with her hands, except for the yoghurts and porridge etc which we spoon fed her (although she liked to have a go at it herself from day one of weaning really). This changed around October 2010, when she wanted to grab the spoon from us, and didn't liked being fed, so we let her, and changed bowls so ones which were shallower and had a non-slip base (I recommend the Ikea set, which has rubber already attached to the bowls so you don't need the separate non-stick mat to wash up aswell!), and she, where possible, would feed herself. This soon moved up to using her own cutlery (spoon and fork). She started mainly using the spoon, then changed to liking to try and get things with the fork, then used the two together. She taught herself gradually over the last four or five months to use cutlery. Things have been pretty proficient for the last 3 months.

Open cup, grown up!

Oh yes, and we remembered to start offering her an open cup now (i.e., the tommy tippy feeder with the lid off), just got used to the lid being on all the time, but she didn't need it. Unless she's on the go at someone's house, it is the norm now (since January ish - though I know people who have used open cups from the start, no problem - just a bit messy sometimes, but it is only water to start with). Another step towards joining in with Mummy and Daddy. For more benefits on cup drinking and why, read the NCT page on it.

The Gag Reflex: it is incredible

This is something which is slightly disconcerting, but once you understand what is happening and what it is for, you no longer think you need to carry out the Heimlich Manoevre (that's for choking). I was helped, by advice from Mums with older babies who were already on the baby-led path - see below. I moved on to being reassurred by the gag response, that it is there and that it is protecting my daughter as she learns to eat. It’s her way of moving food around in the mouth. If you let them put their own food in their mouth, they can control it as it moves backwards.It was also another element of learning how fantastic the body is for me - learning to trust the natural instincts and development of your child. We've evolved over years and years to do these things.

The Mess is Best

Abigail, April 2010

One thing that you'll get used to is that food is there to be explored, experienced and sampled. Because of this, as they learn, they make a mess sometimes. But you figure out the best set up - which foods are less mess and better to take to other people's houses etc! You can always put a mat down underneath the high chair, or if caught out, a spare muslin. We've got laminate in the kitchen so I normally sweep up the bits quite easily (tomato-based dishes are the worst). Bibs with fronts that catch are good too, so spares can be re-explored (I recommend tommee tippee's roll and go bibs). The mess is also part of the fun though, let go and enjoy it!

Social and Emotional Development

By giving Abigail the independence to eat herself, to initiate her feeding choices, she has grown, physically and in confidence, at the dinner table. She shares the table with her family (how great is this!), she eats the same food as Mummy and Daddy (look at me!) and all the while is enjoying interacting with everybody, smiles and mmmms, learning more about the interactive enjoyment of sharing a meal. Giving your child the opportunity to be actively involved in the eating process is very empowering for them. Another element to this is that we have never strapped Abigail into her chair (we don't let her stand up in the high chair either), but it is another factor that I strongly believe helps her to feel respected and included. The opposite situation would be to be passive: strapped in, and fed spoonfuls of food, with little input into the process yourself, not eating at the same time as Mum and Dad, because they have their hands full feeding you - meal times become systematic rather than shared experiences. Imagine which would make you feel better and want to eat and try more, as well as talk and communicate more at the table? On a practical note, the ability to eat at the same time altogether as a family is enjoyable for me too - to see her doing it herself and to be able to sit down to a meal myself too!

Examples of foods Abigail eats now

Breakfast: Muesli, Weetabix, Porridge, Rice Krispies, Yoghurt, Banana, Boiled egg and soldiers, Croissants and jam, Toast and conserves (jam, lemon curd, honey, peanut butter) - any bread flour type, crusts on (as it comes).
Lunch: Quiche, sandwiches, bagels, pitta and houmous, Beans on toast, scrambled eggs on toast, omelette, soup and bread, jacket potato half with tuna
Dinner: Thai curry and rice, roast beef/chicken/pork/gammon and trimmings, casseroles and stews, paella, risotto, spaghetti bolognese, lasagne, cottage pie (just take your leftovers - make sure low on salt and sugar - and freeze a baby/toddler-sized portion for when needed).

It is basically a list of food that any adult would eat. It's also cheaper than any baby food products on the market... more about that another day.

More useful comments for food ideas and general tips from friends that I got from the start of learning (thank you):

Grapes and berries work wonders on my niece. Small squares of dark bread with cheese are also a favourite
pitta bread, bread sticks, cucumber sticks, mini rice cakes, oatcakes, pepper strips
broccoli, carrots, chicken strips, organix finger foods, plum spelt biscuits, pasta tubes, bread sticks, slightly cooked pear and apple slices, cucumber strips, beef strips etc basically anything you can make handle shaped, but expect it to get messy. Oh yes pepper sticks are one of rosa's favourites. Rosa had a full roast beef dinner (minus yorkshire pud and gravy) the other day made of finger foods and I know babies who love fajitas and anything else mum & dad are eating. Oh and if you are happy with dairy, apparently chease sticks are popular
Ava is the same, won't touch food unless it looks exactly the same as what I'm eating and will not be fed so it has to be finger foods... it's a good thing in the long run as she can just eat bits of what you're eating from day 1 but yes me...ssy! If you don't have a washable floor I'd recommend using an old towel underneath the highchair.To add to the lists above, brocolli and cauliflower (with or without cheese sauce) and you can always put the mush on toast, bread sticks, rice cakes. Pasta with mush is a good way to get a bigger range of veg in. Once she can pick them up little bowls of peas and sweetcorn help them learn pincer grip. They say that once a baby can pick up something that size they will not choke on it (the two things develop simultaneously). Try grating things too - Ava loves grated apple, carrot etc. Frozen frubes and other frozen veg doubles as a teether too! Hard boiled/scrambled eggs are popular too (if you're OK with giving her eggs).
Youtube video good to watch
In addition to whats already been suggested, Chloe is a fan of cooked pasta, grapes, cherry tomatoes, humzingers (dried fruit sticks, find them in the home baking aisle) - she used to eat strips of omelette
Oh and remember, the gag reflex is there to help teach her not to choke. But remember she must be supervised while eating as it's very easy to get on with other things if she seems to be getting on with it by herself.
Yeah, smile through the gags! Make sure she drinks plenty of water with her food if she's not eating mush though, they're more inclined to get constipated. Ava loves cut up dried prunes when she starts getting a bit bunged up, lots of dried fruit is mushy and gumable - as Kirstie said, humzingers are great (eventhough they look like dog chews, lol)