Saying No in the Yes Cycle

I had an interesting experience yesterday. I took part in the second session of VIG (Video Interaction Guidance) so that my friend and old colleague to train as a practitioner in the intervention. My goal was to improve on saying "No" to Abbie in a consistent manner, to keep her boundaries where they need maintaining.

Since my friend bought me the Sears' Baby Book on Attachment Parenting, this style has resonated with me, but one thing I still find difficult is how to control and say No without damaging the secure base I'm trying to establish and grow between us. Being somebody who sets limits has made me feel uncomfortable as I didn't/don't want to cause distress, but more than this, I didn't want to be inconsistent in my boundary-setting, sometimes being strong about saying No about something, another time letting it go.


So this was my goal for the VIG therapy session.

Must remember to write to Mr Miliband

"I want to hear your experiences of how the cuts are affecting you and your family and discuss how we could do things differently"

I got a letter from Ed Miliband last week and keep meaning to follow it up. It asked me to contact him on his website. 

polyp.org.uk

Although I can understand his approach, asking for feedback from the public, I think it is also approaching everything as if it is money, the economy, that is the centre of our lives. I don't think it should be, even if it has become that way.


When I think about my family, I don't see money as making us the happiest we could be. Yes, we need it to pay for a home to live in, for food, utilities etc. But we can confuse need with want, I know I do (oooh holidays, a different car, new clothes, tv etc.). That doesn't mean that we should live in caves and not treat ourselves to these things, I just think that money and spending it should not be the centre focus.

The children's food industry (weddings all over again)

I've never bought 'children's' yoghurts, but find large pots of full-fat whole yoghurt, .e.g, Yeo Valley or Rachel's- either plain, with some honey (1 yr+) or lemon curd, raisins etc. stirred in, or fruit flavours fine, if not better than the bland varieties offered. I tried Munch Bunch last month and the texture is smoother than a baby's bottom, blander than wallpaper paste - no wonder some children are fussy eaters if they're not given the opportunity to experience textures and flavours in their food...[but that's just my opinion]. An additional note on buying larger pots means that you're not racking up the plastic packaging, so some plus points regarding your environmental conscience.


I've actually (if you can believe it) compared the nutritional content of Munch Bunch to Yeo Valley Strawberry Yoghurt, just to see whether my instincts to go for the big pots was right:

Bits and pieces

I had plans to write a regular blog when I finished work (well, changed jobs), but haven't been as industrious as I'd thought. So I wanted to write a blog about the not writing.


It isn't procrastinating, it is just not being in the right moment. I'd have alot to say about various things, but those moments of inspiration have passed - we're through the labour, newborn, weaning stages - things I didn't write about at the time, but would be less energetically written about if I did it now. So I'm waiting for inspiration, but also on the internet alot less anyway. While the weather's good I'm out and about during the days and getting on with time at home in the evenings (sitting on the laptop in front of my husband when we've hardly seen each other all week isn't really fair). My new time outs during Abbie's naps extend to internet time too - although I like checking my emails, facebook etc, it does take time and before I know it, I haven't really switched off, so when it comes to procrastination, I suppose I do procrastinate over internet duties.

Confusion never stops, closing walls and ticking clocks

It's been three weeks or so since I started my full timing. It's gone slowly and quickly. It's been tiring and the best thing I've ever done. I have no regrets (apart from the USS witholding my employer contributions to my pension - PANTS). I have so far, not joined any mother and toddler groups, no commitments yet (we'll see what happens).


Something I have realised as the days have passed is the importance that I don't whip myself up into another busy lifestyle, of efficiency and over-ambition. Multi-tasking is not good for the soul.

Why I am so glad we baby-led

My daughter is 19 months old. She eats at the table using a spoon and fork off a plate or bowl, drinks out of an open cup and is generally brilliant at the whole eating/drinking/sitting around a table process.

Feb 2010, when Abigail was 7 months old, no teeth/hair!

We started weaning at 6 months old, in line with the recommended guidelines. I started by offering her a banana: I ate one in front of her and waited to see if she initiated interest in tasting it herself: a sign that she was ready to start eating solids (along with the disappearance of the tongue thrust reflex). I almost talked her through it really, "do you want some banana?", "yes?" (broke some off and mush it in between fingers and held to her lips). She had some banana and we took it from there. I can't describe how exciting it was - never thought it would be such a milestone! If you're interested in a time line, her first eat was 06/01/2010.

So long, and thanks for all the fish

This was the title of a goodbye email I sent to my colleagues when I used to work as an IT Specialist in 2004. I left my job headed by a most fantastic boss and a great bunch of people on the project too. It was a decision that went against the grain but that felt right, even though I didn't know what future lay ahead of me, and I was leaving a potentially secure and set-for-life job there. I left to go back to university, to do a Masters degree, which turned into a PhD in Psychology.

A similar feeling is running through me at the moment.  

I'm two weeks away from leaving my first research job since the PhD qualification.